This is the recipe I promised a while back. It comes from a xeroxed copy of a cookbook of a cafe in Ithaca, New York like Moosewood, but called Cabbagetown. It’s a strange thing to look at the wrinkled and stained page of my copy (in a red 3-ring binder that I painted green), because there are notes on the page – Good cornbread! written by the woman my ex-husband had an affair with many years ago. Other pages say things like, Jeannie Lee makes this and it turns out delicious. tastes good when cold too! (I’ll post that one another time.)
Lately, I’ve started assessing memories. For some reason I have always felt that all memories were intrinsically equal; that I should remember as much as possible about everything (maybe because I’m saving up details to write about later?). But now I am discovering that there are many things I have completely forgotten, even people I’ve forgotten, and that makes me wonder about the frivolous energy expenditure in remembering subpar experiences. Whenever I see this woman’s notes – I remember how I tried to drag the black sofa they had sex on into the desert to burn. Do I want to remember that?? In any case, I use (or plan to use) too many recipes in this notebook to toss it out quite yet.

1 1/4 cups cornmeal

3/4 cup whole wheat pastry flour

1/4 cup dried milk powder [I usually omit this]

1 tsp salt

2 tsp baking powder

1 egg

1/4 cup honey

1 cup milk [I use soy or rice dream]

3 tbs vegetable oil

[I usually double the recipe and add one can of drained corn and an extra egg]

1. In a medium-size bowl, mix together the cornmeal, flour, milk powder, and salt. Mix in the baking powder, rubbing it between your hands as you add it so there are no lumps.

2. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients, and in it beat the egg lightly. Mix the honey, milk, and oil into the egg.

3. Mix the wet ingredients into the dry, and beat thoroughly so the batter is smooth and there are no lumps.

4. Pour the batter into a well-buttered 9-inch pie pan. Bake in a preheated 350F oven for 25-30 minutes, until the corn bread is firm and lightly browned. Serve warm.

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